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Angry Skull Slide Sandals: Ferocious Footwear

Because what else would a pirate wear in the plundering offseason, Chinese footwear manufacturer Feionusin has created these skull slide sandals. Available on Amazon (affiliate link), the sandals are perfect for letting everyone know you’d rather be sailing the high seas with a knife between your teeth and a belly full of grog. Honestly, that’s what I’d rather be doing right now too.

The sandals are available in white, light grey, black, blue, purple and gold fade, grey with glow-in-the-dark flecks, and black with the addition of metal chains and skull and stud accents. Obviously, if you’re a pirate captain, you’re going to want to wear those ones to make your rank clear. The slides come in six different unisex sizes to accommodate feet from a women’s 5 to a men’s 11.5. Unfortunately, I’m a 12, so my big toe will be hanging over the edge and at constant risk of being stubbed.

Other appropriate sandal options for pirates based on name alone include those from Old Navy and Crocs. Although you won’t catch Captain Hook wearing Crocs! Still, what about the pirates who only need one sandal because they have a peg leg? Can they buy singles? There might be an untapped market here.

[via OddityMall]

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