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Life-Size Egyptian God Statues: My Foyer Demands Them

Crafted and sold by the purveyor of wild indoor/outdoor decor Design Toscano, these life-size Egyptian god statues are the perfect compliment to your pyramid’s foyer to let guests know you have more money than you know what to do with. Available in Anubis (dog head), Horus (falcon head), Thoth (ibis bird head), and Khnum (ram head) designs, the $1,500 statues stand just over 6 feet tall and are certain to scare the hell of you in the middle of the night on the way to the fridge for a snack. I think Horus just moved!

I assume if you’re buying these, you already have a lifesize replica of King Tut’s sarcophagus. Because if not, you should probably get that first. Otherwise, people might come over and see these statues and joking ask where King Tut is, and you not be able to show them. Boy, would that be embarrassing!

As much as I might make fun of them, I still want one. I think Anubis. Although, I know that as soon as I got him, I’d want the other three as well to complete the set. And then what? Exactly, my wife wonders where our savings went and who all my strange new friends are.

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